Why You Should Still Crash Bay to Breakers Even Though It’s Sold Out
I would imagine many of you still-unregistered boozebags are apprehensive about running this year’s 100th Bay to Breakers. Registration is sold out. They are threatening that drunk people will be detained in tents. They are threatening that unregistered runners will be “subject to criminal prosecution.” This while they are declining runners an opportunity to purchase a registration, and on the race’s historic 100th running at that. This is obviously an outrage.
I’ve heard debate among you peeps on whether you should crash this year’s race if you’re not registered. All of your concerns about the risks of crashing Bay to Breakers are based on commonly-believed MYTHS. This year, many myths in circulation are giving unregistered runners pause whether they should try running the Bay to Breakers. I believe these myths to be myths, and I now discount these myths one by one so that you may crash this race with the confidence that nothing bad will happen.
MYTH No. 1 – They are really going to be cracking down this year. They say this every year, people. When has it ever happened? This myth was born following the outcry after the urine-drenched 2008 race. For 2009, Bay to Breakers announced a zero-tolerance policy toward open containers of alcohol on the race course. (Ummm, that has actually been the law all the time.) Each successive year, they’ve publicly insisted that enforcement would be stricter at the coming year’s race — but I’ve been out there conspicuously operating a mobile tequila bar each year in question, and I just haven’t seen it. In 2010, there were a paltry five arrests out of 60,000 people. You’d have to be a majorly disruptive asshole out there to get yourself arrested at Bay to Breakers, which I bet none of you are.
MYTH No. 2 – It’s too late to get a race number. As we get closer to the race, registrations are becoming more readily available on Craig’s List. There are 55,000 people with registrations. At least a couple thousand will decide they can’t or don’t want to run. You can just buy one of theirs, easy.
MYTH No. 3 – They’ll have a more organized Start line to discourage people from crashing. This year, they’ll have a less organized Start line. For the first the first time, Bay to Breakers is assigning runners into starting corrals. I’ve been in races with starting corrals, at the Las Vegas Marathon this year they had more than 30 corrals for roughly 30,000 runners. Bay to Breakers will have four corrals for 55,000 runners. (Technically, there are seven — but Corrals A-C are for a statistically negligible number of elite runners). More than ten thousand to a corral completely eliminates whatever structure a race could hope to implement by corralling runners. And they’ll be trying this system for the first time ever, largely with volunteers. Plus there will be tortillas flying around everywhere.
MYTH No. 4 – It’s my own fault for not registering in time. Stop it. Every year I’ve run, maybe even all previous 99 years, you could just walk down to the Greater Body Expo the day before and register that Saturday. This year they cut off registration months in advance. That was a rotten thing of them to put an impromptu ceiling on it this year, and on the race’s centennial running at that. Bay to Breakers could do the magnanimous thing and make available more registrations for the thousands of disappointed longtime runners. They won’t. So it’s their fault you’re not registered.
And I would remind you that the sitting mayor of San Francisco crashed the race without a registration last year. If that’s not a solid endorsement of the practice, then I don’t know what is.
MYTH No. 5 – Crashers are a threat to public safety. No one has died at this booze-soaked race since 2007. On the other hand, one runner did die at this year’s non-alcoholic Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon. Therefore Bay to Breakers, despite its nuisance-causing drunks, is currently the safer race.
MYTH No. 6 – Crashers are denying funds raised for charity. There is absolutely no charitable component to this year’s Bay to Breakers, not even the half-ass orange shoelaces thing. This thing is a for-profit event benefitting Zazzle and Examiner publisher Phil Anschutz. Jim over at SFCitizen has written quite eloquently on Phil Anschutz’ bankrolling of anti-gay initiatives, and Mr. Anschutz’ commitment to basically being one of the five biggest rich, conservative pricks in America. Registering for Bay to Breakers does, literally, provide financial support for sabotaging gay rights, ridding evolutions from schools’ science curricula, and making those god-awful Chronicles of Narnia movies.
MYTH No. 7 – People who live along the race course hate Bay to Breakers. Unlike some in the media who claim to speak for residents who live along the course, I actually have lived along the B2B race course. All of my neighbors loved it, looked forward to it, threw parties, welcomed strangers into their homes, and had no negative sentiment for crashers. Businesses along the course love the Bay to Breakers because it is like Christmas for them, and conspicuously post signs welcoming B2Bers into their stores. I don’t have reliable polling on this, but I strongly believe that residents advocating for tighter restrictions do not speak for anywhere near a majority of race course-adjacent households. And, ummm, residents knew that their street address is on the Bay to Breakers race course before they chose to move to that address.
MYTH No. 7 – They will have extra security and they will detain you in tents. Extra security? Try extra attempts to wrangle volunteers to perform security. Per Chuck Nevius’ reporting, they’re going to have 40 paid security people. I don’t know how that compares to previous years, but it’s not a lot for 55,000+ participants along a 7.5-mile course. We’re serious, my ass.
As for the “sobering tents”, these do not actually sound particularly intimidating. Any defensive-sounding claim there is a law enforcement component to the sobering tents probably comes not from police, but from the two or three paid Bay to Breakers full-time employees, or their respective webmaster. And I welcome your remarks in the Comments section, Sam, Angela, and David!
I would expect all paid security will be stationed at one of three “hot spots” — the Start line, Alamo Square atop Hayes Hill, and the Panhandle. In those areas, you’ll want to mesh with large groups. Maybe don’t drink from an open container at those specific spots. Certainly it will help if you get begin the race at the new 7am Start Time — it is well-known that the “back half” of the crowd is higher-risk than the “front-half”, and enforcement is structured to reflect this.
And remember — It’s not that you don’t want to register, it’s that they won’t let you.
Thank you for writing this. You’re awesome!
Well played, sir. Well played. We’re linking to it now.
Amazeballs post!!!!
Hired security usually means they aren’t allowed to touch you. The insurance would be way too expensive for organizers.
Great post. Last year they formed a checkpoint barrier just at the base of alamo square, so before you get to the top of the hill. I almost want to see what would happen if they get people into the tents. Knowing B2B it may turn into an X rated sloppy drunk party. I hope they will have condoms as well as juice to provide! If the tents aren’t fun, just bring some box cutters and be ready to cut your way out!
Any chance of a 2011 liquor store map?
You’d better believe it! I’m shooting for Wednesday on that.
If you are a volunteer and are planning to hold people against their wishes, you may want to consult an attorney. In America you cannot imprison someone without an process involving actual legal authorities. The Bush Administration was unsuccessful in their attempt change this.
I doubt anything at B2B would qualify for such action, but you should brush up on “citizen’s arrest” before claiming that “In America you cannot imprison someone without an process involving actual legal authorities.” I also assume you mean “detain” rather than “imprison,” as that is what cops do when they put someone in the drunk tank.
Am I still allowed to get naked?
This is brilliant, going to link it to my blog.
Thanks for the great post! I could not agree more that *it is their fault* people like me aren’t registered. They pulled this “sold-out” BS several months ago, and it’s just absurd. The Anschutz group’s claim that they “own” the race and can do what they want is also absurd–how can a crappy media group own a 100-year-old celebration that belongs to the people? I’m not sure you’re bankrolling AEG if you registered, however–the race does cost money (street closures etc) and also the race winners (usually Kenyans) win quite a bit of money, and I think those are both fair things to pay for. But again, I would pay to register, if only they would *let me*.
Also, they did actually have the corrals last year–I was in the A corral, because last year they didn’t pull the “sold-out” BS so early, and I thought the corrals worked great. It’s just that maybe they aren’t letting enough people into the corrals this year. Also, after the initial news that the race was sold out, they did in fact open it back up for registration briefly–but they hiked the price to $75. Outrageous. That is so far out of line with comparable races around the country.
So, crashing it is! I hope many, many people crash, just to protest the absurdity of not being able to register. (But please, don’t pee on anyone’s doorstep.
B2B Loyalist… REALLY excellent points, and things I’d meant to cover except then I’d have gone 80,000 words. I was unaware of any corrals last year, but I did register day-before, so maybe I wasn’t assigned one? I don’t normally advocate crashing. I’m just baffled they would pass on at least another $30k in revenue, and treat longtime customers with hostility. Srsly, between you and me we’ve bought I bet you at least 12 bibs over the years. Maybe more. Then add our friends. It makes me sad. Find me and have a tequila shot with me Sunday and we’ll commiserate and run and then try to meet hotties.
Your 80,000-word post was still great! After I posted the comment and realized that there is a new aspect to the corrals this year, so you were largely right. They did have them last year, but all they did was organize where people lined up (and the corrals were all sold out by day-before-race so late-registrants lined up behind them). This year however, they’re actually staggering the start-times for the corrals, so while some people are starting at 7am, people in the further-back corrals aren’t starting till 8 or even later. It sounds stupid, but actually, Bloomsday, a similarly-sized race in Spokane, does a staggered start and I think it’s an improvement because it allows people who want to run to be able to without getting totally bogged down. However, Breakers is maybe overdoing it by waiting well over an hour to let the last corrals onto the course.
I’m noticing that the vast majority of bibs on Craigs List are corral E for some reason. I’m torn whether to get one because I don’t want to be so far back–can people really be subject to “criminal prosecution” for crashing? What is the charge, I wonder?
In terms of no thanks for loyalty, I’ve registered more than 15 times and I’ve roped numerous family members into it too over the years, so to be excluded is very, very annoying. This race so desperately needs new management–they are destroying a civic treasure and need to be fired.
I did not want a bib runner covering my nakedness
[...] For the record, it didn’t take Woodward and Bernstein-level of investigative reporting to flesh out this information, not when there are websites completely dedicated to getting your buzz on. [...]
Hot Damn! Kick ass!
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a link to this posting was provided by Themelis Cuiper’s SocialGarden one-on-ones : B2B & sea :d, you must be doing a great job as he is pointing towards you.
Thanks for the great info. I have an unexpected opportunity to be in SF for this years race. I contacted B2B about registering by email, and received no response. As a true nudist, I hope to log several miles touring SF walking nude along various routes I have planed that avoid schools and parks. After careful inquiry with SFPD, I have a clear understanding of the law regarding public nakedness and have prepared my attire in the most responsible, couteous manner. I hope to show a healthy polite way of being nude in SF. I can not thank the people of SF enough for their acceptance of the freedom to be nude. If you happen to encounter me hikng the streets of SF, by all means say hello, I am a friendly nudist. If you want me to cover passing by, motion a tipping of your hat sign, and I will tip my hat and cover as I pass. Thank you all!